id be glad to
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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