This house was built for laser tag.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
