well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
