i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize