guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
