There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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