your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
