super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
