We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
