While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
