Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
