We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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