Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
