All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize