4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
