My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
