after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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