the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
