So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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