I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
