If i come over, it means nothing
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize