Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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