i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
