Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
