Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
