im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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