marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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