I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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