i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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