just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
