I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
