Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
