Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
