Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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