It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
