Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
