ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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