just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She even gives head with a lisp.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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