it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
When are your genitals available?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
