I'm jealous of your bromance
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
