im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
