Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
