Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
