Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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