she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize