um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
