GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize