Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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