Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
