I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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