if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
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