Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
honey bunches of taint.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We need to get me chipped asap
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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