we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
they need to just BURY HIM!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
