with your own penis?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
