Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize