If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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