Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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