Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
If I die, sorry about rent.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize