S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Oh god it's open bar.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
