Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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