At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
