some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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