I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
