I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize