I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
