4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
