I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
