I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
