You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
